Chantal - Have Laptop Will Travel: Hmm

February 08, 2005

Hmm

Four jobs, three countries. Two in Guatemala, both part-time: one is being paid to talk to people, and then write up the conversations; the other is to look after other people’s gardens. I’m not so sure about the job in Fuerteventura, but it’d be working for a good friend in his new hotel/apartment complex in a tourist resort, good weather guaranteed. I’d rather be in Corralejo than Caleta, but then again, I’d probably rather be in either than in London. The fourth job is the one I currently have, which involves no work, no social interaction, no illusions, obscene quantities of hot chocolate, and an office clique which I continue to despise after over three months.

It’s a miracle I’ve survived three months there, though perhaps a godsend, given the current state of the job market; nonetheless, out of those three months, I’ve not yet worked a complete month, and probably that, the large quantities of hot chocolate and jokes are the only things which enable me to return every morning. Since Fil, my only friend, left a week ago, presumably it’s just force of habit which gets me up and out each morning.

I’ve temped for six years now, and can wholeheartedly say that this is the only job I’ve had where I’ve not had a single friend, not since Fil left. I’m learning that I can expect a conversation with a single random stranger every day – for example, the Big Issue Manager outside the office is leaving on Friday to work for David Beckham as his nanny – but no more than that. On Wednesday, I spent an hour stranded at Waterloo East station waiting for my train, but justified it as I spent most of that time chatting with a woman called Donna. She was rushing home to take her cat to the vet, but given the time needed to get the cat into the sodding cage, she had to cancel the appointment.

Today I had to give my new colleague an introduction to his job, which was extremely hard work given I had to pretend not to be as jaded, disillusioned, bitter, fed up, desperate to leave, prone to violent tendencies, sick of the place as I actually am. All the more so as our boss was sitting opposite him for most of the time. Later, when we met alone at the coffee machine by the other office, I gave him a franker summary of the job, in that there isn’t one, and if he can’t find ways of keeping himself busy till he quits, he’ll go mad.I’d hoped he was a smoker; if he was, I’d planned to have forced him to give in his notice by the end of yesterday, his first day.

What keeps me going are my ex-colleagues. I know it’s probably not healthy to be so dependent on them, especially after several months of no longer working with them, but it’s those who email, chat, text daily who I’m the most grateful for. Those who don’t are those I can’t be bothered with, for the most part. I have zero interest in being taken for granted, and a sufficiently bad memory that friends are deleted on a fairly regular basis. Martin’s often said that, according to his memory, any office with me in it will be a loud office; I’m fairly certain that one of the main reasons for Paul kicking me out of the other office was that I was too much of a distraction for Jay and Fil (ND being best avoided at all times, whatever Fil says in his defence). I loathe the idea of me being clingy or needy, but god I wouldn’t have survived the last few months without Matt, Jenny, Ian, Martin, Paul, Rahat, Zak, and the other occasional Project contacts. I had a phone call a week ago about a job in Woking, and my first thought was of proximity to Steve and Mike. Being near them would be reason enough to take the job.

Perhaps if I actually had a job, if I actually had something to do with my days besides read through the helpdesk database, the HR database (illicitly), look up yet more photos for Zak’s website, anxiously check Msn Messenger for certain contacts, the Project would fast become a distant memory. I’ve known for a while, however, that I won’t have any such job until I leave RCN, which means the most crucial question now is: do I linger on, depressed on more or less a daily basis, holding out for a replacement job, or do I get the hell out and take one of the other three job offers currently up for grabs? Almost a stupid question to ask, almost as stupid a question to ask what’s stopping me….

Okay, so I know what’s stopping me, I just don’t know if it’s worth my while.

Posted by chantal at February 8, 2005 11:35 PM

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