Chantal - Have Laptop Will Travel: Another Week

November 21, 2004

Another Week

Managua, July 1996. Or maybe I should backtrack beyond that, to when I worked in Catacamas, Eastern Honduras before I got the job in Managua.

Catacamas is about three and a half hours north-east of the capital, Tegucigalpa, and is literally the end of the road – beyond Catacamas, there is only a dirt track leading to the town of Danlí, after which there’s the expanse of the Mosquitía jungle reaching across to the Caribbean coast. We had set up camp in a hotel on the outskirts of town; we would head into the mountains in the mornings for work, in the late afternoons, after returning and showering, I would head to the nearby Texaco station or to the town centre for chocolate etc, sometimes with Cindy or Chris, or to the Hondutel office to make our phone calls home; in the evenings, we would head to the As de Oro, a restaurant which seemed to have few customers besides our team which gradually reached about 30. I was a vegetarian at the time; it wasn’t very vegetarian-friendly.

A few weeks later, I was in Managua, thanks to a conversation I’d had with someone in an Honduran border town, specifically in a warehouse selling pseudo-pre-Colombian ceramics, several of which are sitting on my windowsill to my right. Managua may be a completely bizarre capital city, but also about the only one I have any fondness for. I was promptly installed in a house in Barrio Centroamerica, one of the more prestigious areas, in the south of the city. Besides the main roads, which were paved or tiled, depending on their location, most if not all of the residential streets were unpaved dirt and bumpy. A friend, Amanda, lived a few doors down from me, so we’d wait together in the mornings, along with our other colleagues, on the other side of the main road, to be taken to somebody’s garden in which we were busily excavating an ever-larger trench, having discovered a large number of burial urns over the weeks. Children would play in our spoil pits; locals would set up chairs around the edges in the afternoons and watch us while the houseowner offered them lemonade.

Saturday mornings, I would rise before dawn and cross the rubbish dump to catch the first bus of the day to the Costa Rican border, to visit my friends in San José, returning late on Sunday nights, again via the rubbish dump.

I was summoned back to London rather abruptly while working there, and ever since then, I’ve had large difficulties with being around crowds. This hasn’t been helped at all by spending two years or more working and living in relatively unpopulated areas, taking half-empty buses or trains to work every day until two weeks ago. When I met up with Martin and his friends on Friday, I’d assumed that the bar would be somewhere to hang out until the rush hour dissipated, never anticipating that the bar could supercede public transport in its complete crowdedness. I’ve probably never appreciated my flat as much as I have done in these last two days for its complete absence of other people. I’m also enormously grateful for my boss having finally relented and agreeing to me working 8am – 4pm again, meaning that although the commute will still be painful, it won’t be nearly as traumatic as it has been for the last two weeks.

Whatever else I could say, at least my new job is not looking as bleak as it did a week ago; though I may still have an extremely low opinion of it, at least I have a clearer idea of what to expect, even if it’s Nothing. I now have a partial colleague, Filipe, even if his replacement starts next week, and his boss, Paul, who at least provides me with moral support if not much else. The only real contact I’ve had with my boss over the last two weeks has been him asking me every few days what I’ve been working on so far, only pausing to say, ‘Good’ before he walks off; a few times before I started, he elaborated on the Master Plan of where he sees this project going, but apparently I’ll never get any further clarification as to my role, much less of how I fit into the said Master Plan. I missed out on meeting up with my predecessor on Thursday, Martin; just as Sophie contacted me last summer to ask how I’d survived working at Red Cross in the role she then held, I’d dearly love to know what Martin has to say on his eight months here. I know he was unhappy about the absence of management, the ban on doing any programming work despite being hired as a programmer, and the lack of training opportunities. On Monday, I asked Filipe and Paul what Martin had worked on, in the hope that that might give me some clue as to what I should be doing, but apparently, Martin never found out either.

As I’ve probably said before, I know which environments I work best in, and in no way does this one meet any of my basic criteria. I have been given two and a half weeks to produce one set of basic statistics. Nobody seems to know anything about the existing databases, much less how to extract necessary data from them, nor does anybody seem to mind that I’ve wasted one week so far looking through everything of potential relevance on the network, having been given nothing else to do or work on otherwise, and another week of scouting around the available databases – which I’ve only had access to since the end of last Monday – trying to identify how on earth the data pieces together, much less meets our needs. I find it hard to believe that despite owning several key databases – logging internet, email, phone, mobile and helpdesk usage – there is absolutely nobody who knows anything about any of them, nor that there is not even any basic documentation or explanation of how any of them work.

The only other thing I’ve found out is that, although I’m the only London-based member of my team, the other Cardiff-based members – who I’ve had no contact with at all – are frantically trying to arrange transfers into other teams. I’ve yet to hear a single positive comment about my boss. On Thursday – on my way to the pub, as I wouldn’t survive the day otherwise – I again had my weekly chat with the administrator, asking if I was settling in well and if I was enjoying myself. She may not have asked this time if I’d be returning next week, but I could still only offer evasive and neutral replies. I’ve taken to referring to my office as the morgue, and to the people in it as corpses. When pressed, I admit that they’re starting to smell a bit.

Away from my office, the people aren’t so bad. The main bonding point seems to be the lift, a guaranteed subject of spontaneous conversation. Six floors, about 350 staff, one lift. Glass on three sides, one side of which has only an unbroken glass-panelled wall between it and the foul weather outside. The women unanimously stand with their backs to it, the men take the other wall. Managing to grab the lift before it decides to relocate to another floor instead is considered to be a huge prize. Most people grumble that they need to set aside ten minutes in the evenings just to get out of the building, but although there are two flights of stairs somewhere, and another lift hidden deeply away, nobody seems to know the location of any of them. I rarely recognise anyone I’ve chatted to in the lift, and the extent of my human contact seems to be when Filipe phones me over something or when we share a cigarette outside the building. Although my current task is to compile statistics on email usage per division and region, I only finally started working on Friday around lunchtime when I eventually checked the daily stats and found that I’d both sent and received the most emails all day (Martin, who I was meeting up with that evening, was number 5 on both lists). I fully justify it by the complete lack of conversation in the office I’m stuck in. I can manage about half an hour without music in the mornings, but already, I’m rapidly getting bored of my favourite CDs of the last few years – whereas normally it would take me all day to get through anywhere near two whole CDs, now I’m listening to around five. Filipe and Paul suggested I move into their office – there’s a spare desk, after all – as my predecessor did, but my boss’s boss has said no, I need to be in the same office as my boss for contact with him. When I told them that my office was driving me mad, they laughed and said they’d heard that plenty of times before.

So my birthday is on Tuesday, my deadline is for Wednesday, rent is due on Thursday. Although I was not warned beforehand, this job requires highly sophisticated psychic skills, which leaves me two days to figure out Access’s aversion to calculating averages, given that my boss’s boss has completely failed to let me know which format he wants the stats in on Wednesday. After that, I have the joy of playing with either of the two other databases I have access to (internet usage and helpdesk logs). If any of the SQL Server databases were actually of any use, I’d like to be able to produce the full set of stats by Wednesday, if only to show that I really don’t like not having anything to do, and that I don’t cope very well without being busy. The only problem with that is that it took me a day and a half to realise that the main email logging database is completely worthless and unusable, and I don’t know if I can get enough information from the other two to produce the stats needed. It doesn’t help that I’m expected to be satisfied with sample data extracts and templates in lieu of actual live data.

This job is turning me into a hot chocolate junkie. Until two weeks ago, I’d not drunk hot chocolate for years – I probably last drank it the last time I met up with Helena in the Charing Cross Borders several years ago, happily slurping away the whipped cream and marshmallows. I gave up my sweet teas at the start of the year, and since then, apart from the odd Cola when I’m feeling rougher than usual, I’ve not drunk anything sweet which didn’t involve rum. I had five hot chocolates on Thursday and two on Friday morning, after which I felt ill. But they’re all I can think of to keep my mood even vaguely sweet, to stop me from grabbing my bag and jacket and wandering back to the tube station, back to my flat.

My supposedly hands-on agent is anxious to resolve this situation, to arrange meetings with her boss, me and my boss to clarify my job description and his expectations, so that I’m not left dangling between one task and the next, with no real overview as to what I’m likely to be doing for as long as I last there. I’m starting to get the impression that all I’ll ever be expected to do is run Access and SQL Server queries to interrogate the existing data, and continue to work in isolation, especially after Filipe leaves, taking with him anything even vaguely resembling relevant knowledge or support.

This was meant to be an Oracle job, the job I’d been hunting for over two years. The closest I’ve got to it was spending two and a half days working my way through an Oracle Discoverer tutorial, bored to the point where I was bordering on homicidal. I had been booked in on a ‘SQL for Morons’ course last Thursday and an ‘Oracle Discoverer for Complete Morons’ course last Friday, both held in Cardiff, but I turned both down as I didn’t gauge myself to be a moron, much less view either course as sufficient reason to be away from my flat for any length of time. Yeah, I could have met up with Mat, but given I’ve not yet contacted him, I’m sure that can wait.

The week ahead. Getting through another week at work will be challenge in itself, as will be trying to find a flatmate before rent is due, despite six weeks of advertising the room. After last Friday, I think I’d far rather hold my birthday drinks at home, however I know that the main way I’m going to get anyone to turn up is if it’s on their way to their commute home, somewhere nearby so they can stop for a quick drink and catch the next train home; failing that, somewhere easily reachable. I don’t want my Lewisham and non-work-related friends to be put off by the sheer numbers of ex-Network Rail colleagues I’ve invited, much less by the travelling involved to get to Network Rail home ground. I don’t think I’ve ever invited mostly work friends to share my birthday, so I can only hope that it works out, that those I care the most about can make it on the day.

The longer I spend in London, the more painfully I am aware of being away from my family, and of how important each passing birthday is in terms of who I spend it with. Even if those I’m fondest of can only make it for one drink or two, I’d far rather settle for that than yet another quiet, anticlimatic evening at home.

And talking of things working out, I tried to cadge a job off Martin’s boss on Friday night. Fingers crossed he likes the idea. First email would be to Chris Bentley to sign up for more healing and Indian Head massage sessions, second email would be a group one to all my ex-colleagues to say ‘Hey again!’ Ideal situation and all that…

Posted by chantal at November 21, 2004 11:23 PM

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